


Flavours of Past and Future

by Toshaka



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Moving On, Other, a lot of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 05:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20687975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toshaka/pseuds/Toshaka
Summary: Of course he didn’t get an answer.Because there was no one to give it.The only person who could was dead and gone.





	Flavours of Past and Future

After getting Captain Coffee from the Primordial Coffee Tree and making a flavorful drink from its beads, Sandalphon stood alone on Grandcypher deck. It was late at night and cold wind was making his body shiver, though he didn’t care about the weather. His mind wandered to those blissful days made of drinking coffee and soft laughter in cool shade of garden, talking with the most important person to him and enjoying their company. Of days that wouldn’t return for a long time.

He opened his hand that till now was rolled into a tight fist, showing a single bean of coffee left from Primordial Coffee Tree. He simply left it without giving it much thought. He had only felt that; No more no less. It was the smallest and weakest of all of the seeds that had grown. Somehow it reminded him of himself; A weak primarch without a purpose that by some stroke of luck (<strike>or not, considering that Lucifer was dead and it was his fault</strike>) became the Supreme Primarch. Maybe….just maybe this bead will be more lucky than him and grow up big and strong and be able to bring happiness to others?

Growing a coffee tree should be easy, he decided. It needed sun, but not to be directly under it as it leaves would be burned. It shouldn’t be put in place where there would be a draft; so it shouldn’t be put near a window as Sandalphon liked to often leave them opened. There were also other rules he learned about, as in it should be regularly watered. See? Easy, he can do it just fine. For a short while he thought that his sudden, half-baked plan would go unnoticed. How wrong he was.

The same day as he planted the bead into pot he heard a knock at his little cabin.  
“Come in.” he said, a little annoyed. He didn’t want to be disturbed, yet always, always people were coming at that exact moment. The one who entered this time was the Captain.  
“Sorry for the intrusion. I just heard some interesting rumors so I came to check on you.”  
“Rumors?” he didn’t like the sound of that. It reminded him of the days he had spent in Lab, where the other Primarchs would whisper behind his back countless baseless things. These words only made his heart ache and made him wish that Lucifer-sama didn’t hear any of that and wouldn’t discard him because of how useless he was. _<strike>_And still was, because he was so weak and couldn’t _</strike>__<strike>_trust the_</strike>__<strike>_ one person who mattered to him, wh_</strike>__<strike>_o_</strike>__<strike>_ in the end died because of that lack of trust. _</strike>_

“Yes. Some people are saying that they saw you bringing a pot and some soil and were interested in what you are doing. I got worried that you are planting some dangerous plant...”

“Oh…that….” Honestly speaking, he thought that no one saw him, but he should have known better. Those people were meddlesome, being in every possible place, seeing everything and noticing even subtle details. “Yes…I am doing some minor __project.__” he pointed towards the pot. “I am trying to grow a coffee tree from bead that was left from the Primordial Coffee Tree….”

“Its possible?!” captain instantly beamed. Yes, he was like that, the most meddlesome of the bunch, even more than Blue Girl and Red Dragon. Also, the Singularity was really pushy and determined when he decided on something, so Sandalphon unconsciously knew that hiding things like that project of his was impossible. Once that human boy caught wind of it, he wouldn’t let it go, and he’d probe the subject of his curiosity ‘till that person bends and spill everything he hides.   
“Yes. It should be if the conditions are right. But the process of growing and tree bearing fruit is long. It takes years. Besides…..” he trailed off.  
“Besides?”  
“It might be not able to grow at all. Even so, I wonder if someone like me can take care of it even though most would consider it to be easy. Lastly; it has been a long time since it should’ve been planted...”

“So? There is no one better than you for the job! After all, you are our coffee specialist! If someone can make it grow, then it is you for sure! Just trust your skills.”

“Okay ...I will ...try…” Sandalphon said, a little stunned by the words of encouragement. Yes, the Captain of these humans was this kind of person. Believing in others and their skills, putting his trust in them and getting trust in return. The power of Singularity, the power of bonds. And now, Sandalphon was pulled along because of that mysterious and unreliable power. It was kind of....nice.

“Then it’s all right! Oh, can I tell the others?”  
“Yes. There is no problem as long as they won’t disturb me too much with their questions and stupid remarks that they like to tell to each other. So nosy and so noisy.”

“Thank you, Sandalphon. And Good Luck.” And just like wind, Gran disappeared from sight. 

After Sandalphon was sure that the human boy disappeared, he made his way to the pot sitting in the corner of his small cabin. While he knew that coffee won’t sprout overnight, somewhere deep inside his soul he had hoped for it. He wanted to see it grow as fast as possible, to get flowers and bear fruit. It was a small dream, but it was __his, __Sandalphon’s dream. Little and insignificant; but his own.

“Is this what you wanted from me, Lucifer-sama? To live freely, like I want?”

Of course he didn’t get an answer.

Because there was no one to give it.

The only person who could was dead and gone.

The days slowly passed without change, and then half a year had passed. The tree still didn’t grow and he was saddened by this lack of progress. Some people from the crew noticed, and inquired about it, but he dismissed them with a simple: “Its nothing.” Because it was nothing. It was always like this, he would try something, and after he turned out to be bad at it he would give up on it. This situation was no different. It didn’t turn out right and now it felt like it was time to let go.

It was a long time since the night had passed when he decided to throw it away. He made sure that everyone was dead asleep, and that no one would see him and try to stop him with useless chat. Those six months with that little project of his were funny, he admitted to himself. Many of his companions visited to see the pot with the bead and some even checked it reguraly. When they stopped by, they chatted with him about recent events and some rumors. It was nice and he even felt __normal.__ Like all his burdens and regrets disappeared into nothingness. Like everything that happened was just a bad dream, but it wasn’t like that. It was reality. Reality in which Sandalphon lost Lucifer and needed to pay the price for it. As he made his way to the deck he allowed himself to dream a little. That just behind the corner would be Lucifer cabin and from time to time when they both would be free from work, they would sit in shaded part of the deck and drink coffee while looking at other crew members fooling around. But it wouldn’t happen, he couldn’t be happy now when Lucifer was dead and gone and world became so dim. The deck was empty, no one was here. The person who was on guard duty was probably with the helmsman. In this part of the sky there was no dangers. That is good, it will be easier for Sandalphon to make the deed and be unnoticed. He came closer to the railing, and just before throwing this damned pot from the deck all the way into Crimzon Horizon he was stopped by Lyria.   
“What are you doing, Sandalphon-san?” she asked with her innocent tone. Her hands were behind her and she looked really worried.

He was startled. What she was doing here? How didn’t he notice her presence or her steps? Did he lower his guard that much?  
“I am….” Words escaped him. He was speechless. He couldn’t tell her the truth or a lie. She would notice his stammering, she was a really perceptive one.

“Why are you here?” he asked instead. It was easier to avoid a question with a question.  
“Me? I felt really sad feelings coming from you that woke me up, so I came!” she answered truthfully with a tone of sadness, yet she smiled, trying to reassure him.  
“Me? Sad? Are you stupid?” Sandalphon was angry. Her words landed deep. He was indeed broken and so very sad, but he never wanted it to be put into the open as it was now. Couldn’t she read the mood?  
“But….”  
“There are no buts! I am alright! I am just disposing of this trash!” he shouted, visibly annoyed. Couldn’t she see that he wanted to be left alone?! That he wants to suffer, and to atone for all his transgressions committed in the name of misplaced hate?!  
“Are you really seeing that as trash? Isn’t that the bud from coffee that Lucifer-san personally planted? Isn’t it a memento of him?” Those words had shaken Sandalphon to the core. He didn’t think about that bud this way. Yes, it was something that originally was created by Lucifer, but he didn’t see it as a memento, he saw it as something to distract him from….what? Sadness? Regrets? That empty and cold Void inside his core that seeps poison and hatred everytime he speaks? He looked over at the pot with the little bud inside; the reminder of Lucifer. Something he left behind. Something that he wanted to destroy.  
Again.  
Again he wanted to destroy something that connected him to Lucifer.  
He couldn’t do this. No matter how painful it was, Sandalphon needed to go on and live. And protect skies that Lucifer loved. Slowly he breathed in and out. Then once again. In and out.  
“You are right, Girl in blue. This was stupid of me. I guess my impatience got the better of me.” He finally admitted. It was hard to say that he was wrong, but now that he started to be more honest with himself, it became easier to gather his thoughts. Thoughts that until now were muddled by self-hatred and bitterness.  
“It’s too early to give up.” He muttered to himself before leaving. He never thanked her, but she didn’t need his gratitude. She just wanted him to be happy, a little less sad, and to smile a little more.  
  
_In his dreams he knew it. _____  
_It’s the shaded garden that he left behind two millennia ago and never looked back till that fateful day. _  
_Sandalphon made his way to the marbled table where he often sat and drank coffee with that important person where they chatted and laughed._ _The place where he was innocent and still pure in his conviction to be helpful. Then he noticed a silhouette sitting by the table. _  
_He knew that posture._________  
_Lucifer._____  
_“How….Why….You…..”_____  
_“Died? Indeed I am dead, Sandalphon.”_____  
_“Then you are just made up from my mind. Just a fake.” _____  
_“You can think that if you wish.___ Am I real or fake, and does that even matter?____ But for now, please sit down. It will be easier to talk to you.” ______  
_“There is no need.” _ _“___If you’re going to be that way, t____hen I shall stand up as well.”______  
_As he stood up, Sandalphon noticed. His white, beautiful and shiny wings that always __surrounded____ his ____body___ weren’t there. _As if reading his mind fake Lucifer said: ___ _“Do not worry. My back feels alright without them. ___It's an____ unusual sensation to not have that additional weight, but __ _I’ve gotten used to it."_  
_“I see….” Honestly speaking Sandalphon didn’t know what to say to this false Lucifer. Should he apologize? Should he be angry and shout his objections? Or maybe he should thank him for everything? Sandalphon thought to thank Lucifer for believing in him and for loving him, and never doubting him. After a short, or maybe a long pause, he decided he wanted to ask about Primordial Coffee tree. _  
_“I wanted….” He started but yet again words failed him. It shouldn’t be this hard! It was just a question about tree!_  
_“Do you know why you are like?” he instead got this question from not-Lucifer. _  
_“Huh?” Why was he created like this? _  
_“I have made you with flaws and imperfect to be my opposite.” Not-Lucifer continued. ”I was perfect. To be a guiding light for the world. I did not want you to have the same burden. I wanted you to have some flaws, to be as human as possible. Because to be perfect is…to be alone. Do not try to be like me, Sandalphon.” _  
_“Lucif….”_  
_”I am always with you...”_

_ __ __ _

_ _ __ _ _

__  
He woke up in tears. “To not be like Lucifer.”  
“Don’t worry Lucifer-sama.” He whispered through his tears. “No one could ever be like you.”  
As he stood up to clean his face, he noticed. The little coffee tree sprouted from earth. It was so tiny, so fragile yet this little plant made Sandalphon rejoice.

Everyone in the crew was overjoyed, which in Sandalphon’s opinion; they were a little __too__ overjoyed.. It had just sprouted, that was all. Yes, he felt a tingle of pride, joy and shame that he nearly gave up, but still ...throwing party because a sapling started to grow. Wasn’t that too much?!

Though….being with everyone wasn’t so bad. The opposite for the contrary, it was very nice, he felt warm on the inside. Yup, from time to time it should be okay to socialize.   
  
Since that day, Sandalphon started going out more often. Not just to make coffee, but also to talk with some members that were in the kitchen at the time. Just simple chat about the weather or what the next mission would be, nothing too important, and nothing that would involve his personal feelings. Just something to talk about and pass some time.  
Since that day he started to take care of that coffee tree even more. Not as some project to make himself feel better, but as something that Lucifer left behind. It was slowly but steadily growing up now. It looked weak, like it could die at any moment, so Sandalphon became worried. He truly wanted it to grow and see the tree in its full form, but if it died that wouldn’t be possible. Another connection with Lucifer would become lost and he didn’t want that. He wanted to become closer to Lucifer, even if it was only a little. To understand the ever-so-composed Supreme Primarch, to know him and remember after his death, this is what Sandalphon could do for him.

Then one day, he was really tired after monster extermination. Gran and Lyria really liked to meddle into people's affairs that turns out later to be complete mess. And the worst was that they were happy after the whole thing, when monsters were defeated and the client found what they were looking for. So when he finally dragged his tired body to his room, it was already late into the night.  
Then he saw that the coffee tree started withering. But it was just one day! How? And after a second, he noticed, the pot was in a different place, where usually at midday sun was shining the most. The leaves were burnt and it was slowly dying. He felt panic rising in him. What would he do? What did he need to do to save it? Sandalphon’s mind went blank, nothing came to his mind. As a last resort, the only thing he could think of was using Lucifer’s power.  
He took pot into his hands and poured the power of light into coffee tree. At the beginning nothing was happening and Sandalphon was losing hope. Then suddenly the tree changed. It became pure white and the leaves had tint of nostalgic shade of blue. And then, flowers bloomed and showed themselves. They were also of a beautiful blue color, just like Lucifer eyes. Being near this tree made Sandalphon feel like Lucifer was beside him. He felt like Lucifer was embracing him, forgiving and accepting everything. He wanted to stay like that forever.

“___Is it really alright?” ____he heard._

Sandalphon suddenly stood up searching for the source of voice. Yet he found nothing in the room.

“Did I imagine that?” he muttered. However thanks to that phenomenon he woke up. While it would be nice to spend all of the time in the world being encompassed by the sensation of Lucifer, he couldn’t. Sandalphon needed to fulfill his promise and protect the skies. Sitting alone in a cabin drunk in delusions and madness would stop him from it. At that moment he realised. No matter what, for the sake of Lucifer and in the name of remembering him, Sandalphon needed to move forward.

_That night he had another dream. He saw Lucifer sitting alone in the garden. While his mentor was smiling kindly, this was the smile he wore to hide his sorrow._

_“I am proud of you, Sandalphon.” the red eyed boy heard. “You finally decided to move forward. Yes, be free and have a lot of adventures so you can tell me all about them.”_

_He looked straight and Sandalphon._

_“As I said once, I am __always __with you. Be it in my soul or __body.” ___

_Body? Sandalphon couldn’t comprehend. Lucifer was dead and his body crumbled to dust and became one with the Sky he loved so much. The only thing that was left as a memento of Lucifer was…_

At that moment Sandalphon understood.

That voice, that presence....

All this time he misunderstood that Lucifer was always with him.

He sat alone by the table, a cup of coffee with him. The drink made from beans of that tree.

The coffee had a nostalgic taste. The taste of Lucifer. Sandalphon wasn’t alone. Lucifer was with him.

**Author's Note:**

> I am happy to write it. For a long time it was in my head as simple short fic which thanks to my friend evolved. I am very thankful for them.  
Special thanks to my friend Tezz who checked this work despite being always busy.


End file.
